Why Nerds are Single

I love nerds. I love hanging out with nerds, I love being a nerd, if I ever get married (which will probably never happen) I will marry a nerd. 95% of my friends are nerds and the other 5% are just weird, honestly if someone doesn’t have some quirk or weirdness about them I wouldn’t be friends with them, normal is so freaking boring.  The thing I notice about nerds though is that a good majority are single. Now that doesn’t really matter to me and honestly I don’t notice unless someone is complaining, but I was surfing the web the other night, out of sheer boredom, and I came across a forum where some nerdy guy was whining, asking people why he was single. Why can’t he find a pretty girl who appreciated nerdiness and then they could hang out and watch anime or play, I don’t know, Halo or D&D? Really? After fighting the urge to find a way to physically transport myself through the internet and slap him I decided that my time would be better spent talking about the problem at hand; Why nerds are single.  Now I will be pointing out reasons that the guys are single but that doesn’t mean that these can’t apply to the girl nerds as well.  Ahem, (imitating Dr. Phil), now what you have here is a lack of communication…nah just kidding.

First off, a lot of nerds have way to high expectations. Now I’m not saying that nerds are worthless and should aim super low, I’m saying that a good chunk of them have unrealistic ideals for women and therefore will not be getting a date. What do I mean by “unrealistic ideals”? Well for starters, guys who think that those girls on their posters are going to want them i.e. Buffy, Selena (chick from Underworld), or any of those big breasted beauties from anime (Orihime from Bleach, or Faye Valentine from Cowboy Bebop).  OK reality check, those girls aren’t real. They are characters in shows and movies, and even if they were real you would have to take away their free will just to make sure they loved you. If you are looking for the real life versions of those girls, I will tell you right now they don’t exist. Now I’m a huge anime/sci-fi/fantasy fan but I’m not expecting any of my hotties to ever become real or walk out of my TV. And hentai is fine but even, by some miracle, you found a big breasted skinny chick like them in real life, due to the weight of their ginormous breasts they would either have severe back problems or not be able to walk.

Secondly, if a hotttie does come up to you and asks you out, would you believe her? I don’t know about you but I was conditioned from High School to think that if someone hot comes up and asks you out that either A: they want something (used to be doing their homework), or B: that it’s a joke and that they are just messing with you. In High School I was asked out by one of the most popular guys in my class and I flat-out told him no. Why? Because I was nearly 100% sure that it was a set-up. Rule 1 from the Survive High School Manual for Nerds, never trust the popular kids. Most nerds learn their lesson the first time they get a “harmless joke” played on them by the popular kids. That lesson, at least for me, stays with you for life and is not easily forgotten.

Finally, you guys are not being flexible. Fantasies are fine but you need to loosen you expectations a little. I have asked a nerdy guy out before and have been blown off because I didn’t fit his cookie-cutter idea of who his woman should be. I’m over it now, I am not apologizing for the fact that I don’t look like Lara Croft. But that is just my point, there could be girls around you that are interested. Heck they could be your soulmate, your L337 Queen, your natch 20. But, if you are only looking at a specific type and/or waiting to become rich so you can buy a Playboy bunny (which is a statistical improbability unless you’re Bill Gates), you will probably never see her. FYI guys, girls are just as nerdy as guys, you aren’t the only ones who obsess over video games (I’m partial to Kingdom Hearts and Left4Dead myself), are level 30 Half-Elf Rangers, and we love DBZ and Gundam as much as the next nerd. But, for some reason we seem to be the only ones with the added pressure of needing to be hot. Kinda not cool don’t you think?

So to that idiot nerd in the forum. Why can’t you find a nice nerdy girl to date? Um, did you look around? We’re everywhere man! We are not as rare a species as you think. So if you had any of the troubles above I hope I enlightened you a bit (instead of just pissing you off which might be the case) and that you’ll realize that it’s not as difficult as you are making it.  Oh and please know that the whole looking at your feet and fidgeting when talking to us that some of you do (you know who you are) is only cute for like five seconds, then it’s just annoying. It makes us feel like we are scary or intimidating and that you don’t really want to talk to us. Remember,  just because were girls that doesn’t mean that we are aliens or whatever you think we are, we are people just like you, so grow a pair, look us in the eye, and talk to us. Dating is scary on both ends, it’s not just you. Of course you will get the stuck up bitches once in a while but, rejection doesn’t mean death, and if you’re not even going to start because you’re afraid of being rejected then get used to being single and quit bitching. I’m sorry if I sound a bit harsh, I really do love nerds, it’s just frustrating sometimes watching you guys all mopy because you’re alone.This isn’t the 50s, nerds are actually cool right now, so even non nerdy girls might think you guys are hot. Don’t think you’ll get a botched roll before the die even leaves your hand.  Go on out into the world and spread the nerd love.

Now if you don’t mind, now that I’ve gotten all the lecturing out of me, I’m going to go and kill some Heartless. If you have any other questions (or complaints) then the answer is 42. L8r


About freak0nature

Nerd with a weird sense of humor. View all posts by freak0nature

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